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Backstage with Ron Onesti: Martin Short proof that warmth sets the table for laughter

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He then jumped on top of my 1929 vintage piano, the one Duke Ellington and Neil Sedaka played on, and burst out into song.

I held my breath as I waited for the piano to explode into a thousand pieces of Arcada history.

“I love the Arcada cuz Carnegie Hall was booked,” he sang.

Then another famous character entered the stage, talk show host Jiminy Glick. He welcomed the audience and introduced his guest … Ron Onesti! I was taken by surprise and he pulled me up on stage.

Here is a guy whose talk show parodies have welcomed Tom Hanks, John Travolta, Tom Cruise … and now me!

He introduced me as his Jewish friend (I’m about as Italian as it gets) and really interviewed me, actually doing research on my background. Shot after shot he threw at me, the audience joined me in uncontrollable laughter.

His signature bit on television was to take a large bowl of candy and literally pour it down his throat, a testimonial to his pudgy persona.

As I sat on the chair in the talk show-style format, I happened to notice a box of Krispy Kreme donuts behind his seat. I was a bit embarrassed because I thought my stage crew forgot it out there. At that moment, he reached around, grabbed the box and began stuffing the donuts into his mouth, consistent with his on-TV shtick of an overeating talk show host.

One, then two … not to be outdone, I picked one up and shoved the whole thing into my own mouth. He then picked up two more and stuffed them into MY mouth. On the fourth doughnut, I actually bit his thumb so as to stop the force-feeding.

So, there we were, both mouths stuffed beyond their capacities. He then turned behind me and emptied his mouth. I went to do the same thing but as I looked onto the floor and saw this chewed-up glop of anything but Krispy or Kremey, I just could not spit it out.

So, practically for the remainder of the interview, I kept chewing and chewing and chewing. Really, one of the funniest nights I have ever witnessed, or been a part of.


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