Like most of you, I’ll never run for elected office, be it local, national or family (I didn’t campaign, but was voted family dishwasher, garbage remover and birdfeeder filler).

That’s the problem. So few people run for local offices that in November many candidates got a Get-Out-of-Campaigning-Free card. Talk about an easy win when the only person to defeat is Nobody.

“My record on accessibility, transparency and taxes beats Nobody’s,” the stump speech begins. “And when it comes to voting one’s conscience, instead of giving into committee or mayoral pressure on issues like who can serve as alderman, my record beats Nobody’s. And when I don’t get my way and use inappropriate language, it’s Nobody’s fault. In conclusion, Nobody is less distinguished and less worthy than I.”