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Joan Knows: Reasons to be thankful ... including Tom Selleck

It’s time to write about being thankful. I have to start with the more frivolous ones to get them off my chest.

I’m thankful for the reruns of the old programs on television. I’m talking especially about “Law and Order” and “Blue Bloods.” This way I don’t have to take seriously the regular programming, which includes the news and the weather. And besides, Tom Selleck is still hot.

I’m also thankful that I have not been prescribed any of those medications that are advertised on TV. The side effects are mean, and I wouldn’t want to put another nickel in their coffers.

I’m seriously grateful that the Badgers have come alive this season. If they could beat Ohio State in Indianapolis for a Big Ten Championship, it would make countless old ladies happy.

It’s good to be grateful that again this year I don’t have to cook the turkey. I have relied on the capabilities of the men in my family, the generosity of cousins and an occasional hospital cafeteria.

And aren’t we all not so grateful for those telephone calls that come toll-free: “Wouldn’t you like to buy something?” or “Tell us your opinion.” Note that my telephone is officially off the hook when I’m trying to nap or talk to a visitor.

I am more than a little grateful for those who have promised to visit and have somehow found time in their very busy lives to come and keep me company for a while. If there’s an upside to not getting out much, I suppose there is good news in that I haven’t had to put on makeup since the Obama administration.

It’s been awhile since I said thank you to the ambulance drivers who yank my freight-train body onto their stretcher and make a beeline to the dialysis clinic. It’s good of you not to show the strain on your faces, except they do turn red when lifting me into the ambulance.

As I contemplate the difficulty of getting out and about these days, I realize how grateful I am for a lifetime of memories and experiences that can be relived and built upon to keep me occupied writing columns for your entertainment.

Now turning to things for which I’m sincerely grateful. It would take a page to list all of the caregivers and friends, and besides you merit more than a mention. Why not just imagine a big juicy kiss from either me or Tom Selleck.

Love you dearly. Happy Thanksgiving!

Joan Arteberry is a longtime resident of St. Charles. Her columns are featured in the Kane County Chronicle every other week. Write to her at

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