Kaduk: Pierzynski earns tabloid fever

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CHICAGO – A.J. Pierzynski’s postgame wish was that starter Nick Masset receive the lion’s share of credit for Sunday’s 10-6 win against the Cubs at Wrigley Field.

Yeah, and Pierzynski would be a popular celebrity bartender at Murphy’s or The Cubby Bear.

Despite the good intentions, the postgame reality was that sole props for Masset’s first career start were not going to come anytime soon.  

Not when Pierzynski had just strengthened his reputation as the most divisive figure in the 11 seasons of Crosstown Classic history.

And not when he had just hit a seventh-inning grand slam that gained him more fans to the south and more enemies to the north.

So when the locker room opened just before dinnertime, the media horde descended on the towel-clad catcher.

Meanwhile, Masset dressed two lockers away, initially unscathed except for the occasional “excuse me” toward reporters straying into his space.

Though Masset’s contribution to the sweep-avoiding win was significant – two runs and three hits in a 5 2/3-inning spot start against veteran Carlos Zambrano – the truth is that the story of his first career start paled in the tabloid sexiness of the slam.

Once again, the man in the literal black hat had rode into Wrigleyville and cleared the bases with two outs off former teammate Neal Cotts. When the ball reached the right field basket, it immediately invoked memories of last July 1, when Pierzynski, down to his team’s last strike, deposited a game-winning three-run homer onto Sheffield Avenue. That incident, you might remember, caused heaps of trash to be thrown from the Wrigley bleachers onto the warning track.

Also, that game-winner came about a month and a half after Pierzynski’s jaw line met Michael Barrett’s fist after a collision at home plate.

So, yeah, there’s a lot of history being written here.   

“I don’t know,” Pierzynski said when asked about his penchant for rankling the Cubs and their fans. “They love me here.”

Pierzynski spends part of his off-season participating in professional wrestling events, and it is uncanny how he can transfer those theatrics over to Major League Baseball.  

On Friday, he sparked a three-way flame war between himself, Ozzie Guillen and radio host Mike North with comments on North’s morning talk show. The incident commanded much of the media attention after Friday’s game, a 6-3 Cubs win.

Then, after rounding first on Sunday, he pumped his fist in an uppercut motion. When he crossed home plate, he semi-skipped through foul territory and into the dugout. At that moment, you figured that Vince McMahon, a ring and some pyrotechnics weren’t that far behind.

For better or worse, Pierzynski’s Dennis-the-Menace approach stirs up intense feelings on both sides.

Is he a hero?

Is he a heel?

Where you stand probably depends on the cap on your head. Yet there’s no denying he has turned into one of this city’s all-time characters.

“You play against A.J., you hate him,” Guillen said. “You play with him, you hate him a little less.”

From the reception he receives every time he strides to the plate at Wrigley, it’s clear that he’s at the top of the neighborhood’s most-wanted list. But like a great antagonist, he plays up to the hate.

He’s a great entertainer, however unwittingly.

“The more people boo, the more I laugh,” Pierzynski said on Sunday. “It relaxes me more. If they cheered for me, I wouldn’t know what to do. It’s part of my makeup.”

The strangest part about Sunday’s episode is that it came one day after Derrek Lee hit a dramatic late-inning grand slam. Pierzynski’s effort was different in the fact that it wasn’t a pinch-hit situation, nor had he been expected to miss the game due to injury. There’s also the not-small fact that he doesn’t own the same type of respect that good-guy Lee gets from both sides of town.

Still, it’s worth pointing out that Pierzynski’s slam ended up meaning something after the Sox’s suddenly volatile bullpen allowed four runs the next inning. You can’t say the same about Lee’s moment on Saturday.

But Pierzynski said he didn’t expect to receive the same type of headline-grabbing glory that came to Lee.

He knew his moment would be framed in a different way, though it didn’t matter since the game report would still give the White Sox the win.

“Honestly, I could care less,” he said. “Like I said, Nick Masset’s the one that deserves the story.”

OK, it’s a fair point.

But not when Pierzynski is up to playing his usual role in the Cubs-Sox series, the one of the human headline machine.

– Kevin Kaduk is the Kane County Chronicle’s sports columnist. Write him at kkaduk@nwnewsgroup.com.