'Honey, I'm home'
By TIM KANE - tkane@kcchronicle.com
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| Sandy Bressner – sbressner@kcchronicle.com
Kathleen and Greg Krispin in their St. Charles area home. Kathleen has developed a new program called "Honey I'm Home," a support group for the wives of husbands who have just lost their jobs. Greg lost his job as an Information Technology specialist about three months ago. The group's first meeting will be June 23 at the St. Charles Public Library. |
Greg Krispin can’t sleep at night.
Krispin, of St. Charles, was laid off 11 weeks ago last Tuesday, and ever since that day, he’s been getting up at 3 a.m. to check on his e-mail to see if he’s had any luck with job-search leads.
“This is the first time in 33 years that I’ve had to look for a job,” he said.
Krispin said he’s been “distracted, preoccupied and disorganized” since he lost his position in the information technology department at a corporation in downtown Chicago.
He doesn’t blame his employer, who he asked not to be named. Krispin was making almost as much as the two technicians who were working for him, he said, and he realizes his getting laid-off was a business decision.
“You never really feel good,” Krispin said of being unemployed. “The high points are you just don’t feel bad. ... I’ll start to lose myself watching a television show and then it pops into my head, ‘You don’t have a job!’”
And he’ll get up and look at his e-mail.
“He’s a great guy, but having him around all the time has been a big adjustment,” said Kathleen Krispin, Greg’s wife.
Her situation gave her the idea to create a support group she dubbed “Honey, I’m Home” for wives whose husbands have lost their jobs.
The “Honey, I’m Home” program starts 7 p.m. Tuesday at St. Charles Public Library, at the corner of Main Street and Route 25, and will continue for four consecutive Tuesdays until July 21.
“The Honey, I’m Home” title comes from the TV show “Leave it to Beaver,” she said.
In the 1950s, show parents Ward and June Cleaver led an idyllic suburban life. Ward would arrive home at a regular time with a smile. Pecks on the cheek would be exchanged. June would have supper waiting on the table. Sons Wally and Beaver would be summoned from upstairs to join them in the dining room.
Fast forward to St. Charles in 2009. Greg Krispin is home all day and restless, and he and his wife are wondering about insurance.
Kathleen has a part-time job with no benefits. They have 18 months left of subsidized insurance provided by Greg’s former employer. They’ve checked into it, and insurance – if they pay for it all – will cost $1,700 a month, which is more than their mortgage. They also have two sons in college.
David Norton, a psychologist and a licensed marriage and family therapist with Centennial Counseling Center in St. Charles, said these are trying times. The economy is down and anxiety is up.
Norton said it has been an especially hard time for men who are perhaps in the “latter third of their lives” and facing a loss of not just income, but also of status.
“For some, losing your job is losing your identity,” Norton said. “Will you accept a job at a lower status? We give ourselves different titles. Some say, ‘I’m now a ‘stay-at-home dad’ or you can call yourself a ‘consultant.’”
Norton said many unemployed older men ask themselves whether they will be competing with their kids for a new job.
“‘Should I rethink the future?’ you ask yourself,’” Norton said. “‘I just spent 20 years getting to this place. What am I going to do now? Is there still time left?’”
Kathleen said she’s been encouraging her husband, telling him that things will get better. She said perhaps unemployment is not a setback but an opportunity.
“Maybe your next job will be closer to home,” she said. “You won’t have to commute downtown anymore.
“I tell him he’s got a lot of skills and assets and he’ll fit in just fine someplace out there.”
She has been encouraging her husband to get back on a regular schedule so they both could regain some normalcy in their lives, and she also encourages her husband not to spend so much time in front of the computer.
Kathleen said that observing the weekend and enjoying time off is something she will share with the group.
She encourages couples to stay active and do inexpensive activities. Kathleen and Greg have started taking walks along the Fox River.
“We’ve been living in St. Charles a long time, but we’ve never visited the local history museum, which we recently did,” Greg said.
Kathleen is interested in finding out how other women are coping under similar circumstances.
“You can’t be job hunting all the time,” Kathleen said. “It can wear you down and discourage you.”
